TXTSPK
Yes, textspeak, the new lingo out in the street, quick and striking, useful for any rushed text messages or just to save some money and time when you are telling your mates that you have gone out on the piss, met this really hot chick in the pub, took her home and found she was a ladyboy only after performing the act when you heard her snoring: FCK M M8 SH WZ NT A GRL!! :(
Nothing wrong with it as it certainly saves you money (ask Mannginger who receives lengthy diatribes in mongrel textspeak from me almost everyday): COULD U PICK M UP @ THE STATION.
But linguistically there is always a line to cross, and in this respect, textspeak crosses it on a daily basis. From the places called NAILZ 4 U (Maldon is full of them, I would recommend you to visit the high street... you will notice that absolutely all the hair dressers are textspoken) to the tuning bussines or the tiresome add on mobile phone ringtones. All of these, one gathers, aimed at a young public with a certain style (Burberrys caps come to my mind here).
Pushing the boundaries of the language is always the one way to develop it, be it for better or worse, but there are some areas that still maintain clear divisions that, being the old grumpy me, should stay as they are. In this case, I am referring to the register of the speech. The Japanese overcomplicate it with using completely different methods of address to each other depending on the rank of the person, and the Greek have their Katareusa and Demotiki (maybe I am wrong int he naming even! So please do not hesitate to give me a slap behind the ears for this one). We have certain speek markers and modes of address, most obvious in written communications such as business letters: from the address Dear Sir / Madam, to the choice of grammar (would you be interested in...), to the final locutions (yours faithfully even though I don't know you and if I did I would not bet on my faithfulness), etc.
These differences are most relevant in any customer faced environments. Using the right mode of address is essential for selling a product. Imagine you are buying a lovely skirt, you would expect it to be more expensive if the shop assistant addressed you with a "may I be of help, madam" than "you allright pet?". The appropriate choice of language builds up not just a sense of prestige but also a sense of confidence on the customer (ah yes, he is not a pikey trying to make me pay too much for this skirt which is possibly stolen - no offence intended). Plus, it allows you to charge even more as, the end of the day, there is no better way to butter someone up than with lovely spready sentences (yes, right, like that time when I tried on a pretty normal summer jacket which cost 1000 euros - yes 1000! of course I did not know at the time - and the lady was very butterly saying it was worth it as all the fabrics were natural and pure cotton and... pure cotton! for God's sake, I get pure cotton on a daily basis at Tesco's, and no, the jacket doesn't even look good on me).
Anyway... What would my surprise be when I receive an email from a estate agents (email, thus, no word restriction) containing the following:
HI. PLS CAN U SEND ME A CONTACT SO I CAN UPDATE U ON CURRENT PROPERTIES. THANKS.
My eyes almost popped out, what the heck! I thought it was some kind of Spam, a Nigerian dethroned prince with the perfect combination to make you earn lots of inexistent funds, or some kind of virus or... No, it was a letter from a flipping estate agent whom we would suppose would be more than happy to sell us a house. Well, I don't care, I'm not going to buy anything from you if you txtspk to me via email, not that I'm going to trust you, am I? And by the way, I am an adult, and a client, so speak to me properly. Customer service gone to the dogs here and customers lost, m8. We were so appalled that even decided to complain... but then, imagining the rolling head of a spotty 16 year old lad on a traineeship on the customer service section following our complaint we decided to let it go.
I still needed to rant about it though, where's the old Dear Madam gone now that I have the age to look like a dear madam? Ah well...
Nothing wrong with it as it certainly saves you money (ask Mannginger who receives lengthy diatribes in mongrel textspeak from me almost everyday): COULD U PICK M UP @ THE STATION.
But linguistically there is always a line to cross, and in this respect, textspeak crosses it on a daily basis. From the places called NAILZ 4 U (Maldon is full of them, I would recommend you to visit the high street... you will notice that absolutely all the hair dressers are textspoken) to the tuning bussines or the tiresome add on mobile phone ringtones. All of these, one gathers, aimed at a young public with a certain style (Burberrys caps come to my mind here).
Pushing the boundaries of the language is always the one way to develop it, be it for better or worse, but there are some areas that still maintain clear divisions that, being the old grumpy me, should stay as they are. In this case, I am referring to the register of the speech. The Japanese overcomplicate it with using completely different methods of address to each other depending on the rank of the person, and the Greek have their Katareusa and Demotiki (maybe I am wrong int he naming even! So please do not hesitate to give me a slap behind the ears for this one). We have certain speek markers and modes of address, most obvious in written communications such as business letters: from the address Dear Sir / Madam, to the choice of grammar (would you be interested in...), to the final locutions (yours faithfully even though I don't know you and if I did I would not bet on my faithfulness), etc.
These differences are most relevant in any customer faced environments. Using the right mode of address is essential for selling a product. Imagine you are buying a lovely skirt, you would expect it to be more expensive if the shop assistant addressed you with a "may I be of help, madam" than "you allright pet?". The appropriate choice of language builds up not just a sense of prestige but also a sense of confidence on the customer (ah yes, he is not a pikey trying to make me pay too much for this skirt which is possibly stolen - no offence intended). Plus, it allows you to charge even more as, the end of the day, there is no better way to butter someone up than with lovely spready sentences (yes, right, like that time when I tried on a pretty normal summer jacket which cost 1000 euros - yes 1000! of course I did not know at the time - and the lady was very butterly saying it was worth it as all the fabrics were natural and pure cotton and... pure cotton! for God's sake, I get pure cotton on a daily basis at Tesco's, and no, the jacket doesn't even look good on me).
Anyway... What would my surprise be when I receive an email from a estate agents (email, thus, no word restriction) containing the following:
HI. PLS CAN U SEND ME A CONTACT SO I CAN UPDATE U ON CURRENT PROPERTIES. THANKS.
My eyes almost popped out, what the heck! I thought it was some kind of Spam, a Nigerian dethroned prince with the perfect combination to make you earn lots of inexistent funds, or some kind of virus or... No, it was a letter from a flipping estate agent whom we would suppose would be more than happy to sell us a house. Well, I don't care, I'm not going to buy anything from you if you txtspk to me via email, not that I'm going to trust you, am I? And by the way, I am an adult, and a client, so speak to me properly. Customer service gone to the dogs here and customers lost, m8. We were so appalled that even decided to complain... but then, imagining the rolling head of a spotty 16 year old lad on a traineeship on the customer service section following our complaint we decided to let it go.
I still needed to rant about it though, where's the old Dear Madam gone now that I have the age to look like a dear madam? Ah well...
